Breaking myself.

I took a sick leave from work today.
I can't get up of bed coz' my head was darn heavy.
As usual...migraine hits me.
I woke up in the morning at 9am and ordered MacD Hotcakes for my mom and bro coz' my mom was craving for it lately.
I woke up with a very puffy eyes.
I knew my mom will notice it plus she knows i'm supposed to be working day shift today.
I just told her that i need a rest today coz' of my migraine and that i need a peace of mind after I ended things with Mus last night.
She just kept quiet,looked at me for a moment and said...its ok...everything is gonna be alrite...things happened...if he is really meant for u...he'll come back to you...if he is not the one...pray for his happiness....
I just nod and was tearful....
Someone msg me in MSN too to ask if i am ok...think he could somehow feel it or he probly read my post.He said everything is gonna be fine too...
In this point of time...everything is easier said than done and especially for me to go tru' this heartbreak again and again.
I was quite calm for the rest of the day but not after i woke up from my rest.
I woke up feeling empty...very very empty...
it is like i'm yearning for my Bi...
and dying to know if he is doing ok there...
My heart feels like a roller coaster...all kind of feelings mixed up that it makes me wanna throw up...
And so i msged him jst to check if everything is ok and that he is doing fine coz' actually i'm not doing that fine....
he replied awhile later saying he is not ok and that his mom is in hospital..
I felt like my heart dropped...
I msged him back asking if there is anything i can help or anything that he needs...
He then replied "I will manage my own k...u've helped me enough.I love you always Bi,sorry for everything....."
and the only stupid thing i can do is just cry and cry and cry.....!!
It is just breaking my heart to let him go....and moreover to hear that he is not doing ok there....it felt terrible for me....it really does...

I'm so tired of crying..
I wanna eat my meds and sleep tru....
Good night.