Towards a brighter light.

Your Love is confusing me.What is Love to you? You can say Love to anybody like you saying hello...It is really disappointing when someone give Love such a bad name...saying Love to one person and then Love to another person at the same time...?? I don't understand that kind of Love.

Many not-so-nice stuffs has been happening to me.Incident report at work,another fall on the road,got cheated by taxi driver and its all because my mind is not focused! I was too distracted with so many things up in my head.And one of it is Love.

Mom advices me to try forget Love matters for now coz' she feels that it is one major mess up in my head that had caused me to be out of my focus.Mom was really disappointed that I kept getting to know people but it doesnt stays long and truthful.I told mom that ever since I ended things with Someone i have tried my very best to open up my heart but it always fail.I got myself hurt ample times.Mom even told me that deep inside her she could sense that i'm was trying so hard to wipe Someoneout of my mind while trying to get to know new people.And she even told me that until now,she can never sense sincerity in the guys i know compare with Someone & Sham...To her,Someone & Sham are sincere people and their Love was true.She also could see the happiness in my eyes when I was with Someone,she told me I was full of spirit,serene-looking and always wears a smile on my face...And of course hearing all that i just teared...''we are not meant to be..''I said.... And plus they are now happily getting married with the ones made for them...i'm just thankful that I got a chance to know someone like them.

I realized that I have already moved on from Someone but its just that I have failed to stop and think for a moment as I was too eager to move on from the painful past.I just keeps on getting to know people,opens up my heart easily and gets hurt frequently.I was as sincere as can be to all the guys that I fall for but most of them isn't as sincere and some even took advantage of my kindness.Why can't I just remain all by myself and seek inner peace within myself? I think the answer is-I was too afraid to be alone....it is very scary to be alone.I still vividly remembers how my life was just after i ended things with Someone.It is a scary loneliness-so empty.

But now,Loneliness is not so scary anymore coz i have overcome it.Rather than I keep getting hurt,I rather be alone and be focused with my life esp. my career.No more social networking website like Tagged or whatever-Facebook is acceptable for reasons like colleagues and friends.

I will follow what mom has said-To be more focused in my work and life.Getting rid of all the distractions which is not worthwhile.I want to be a better daughter,sister,colleague and friend to everyone around me.

I'm dead serious.