Trauma & Fear.

I kept thinking about it...
I dont know whether i should or whether i shouldnt....
I'm afraid that it might break my heart again....
It is just so traumatising....
I know i shouldnt assume that every guy is the same,
but i have the same tots in the past too...
But still, i cast the tots away coz i wanna give that someone and myself a chance...
but it still tore me apart till now...
I always hope that Love could be everlasting and the strength of Love could be built with time...
But I'm really afraid to hope too much now....

I don't know whether it is still too early to start life with someone I love...
Or I should just be grateful with being in a singlehood..??
Or maybe he is really the one for me??
Arrrrhhh....does it only happen to fairytale..??
I really dont know...

I think my emotions is still raw...
still thinking whether i should be given more time...
but i don't want to make him wait...
it is not so nice to do that....
arrrggghh...I don't know...
I want to erase all those fears that has been haunting me...

Oh god...
Please show me the right way....