All these times.

Its been a while since i last mention about Someone...
Yes i always refrain myself from blogging about him though it is always the 1st thing that comes to my mind.
Nowadays,i think about him more than usual.
I don't know why...
Maybe I miss him or maybe he miss me...*shrugs*
Well...ok...I miss him..
not becoz i want to but becoz i can't possibly lie to myself if i say no i don't miss him right..?
Day in day out i got to know new people or rather guys i should say...
But it seems that none of them can make me as happy as i was with Someone...
I feel so calm,happy,blissful,blessed,loved etc when i was with Someone..
I know it is wrong to compare someone from our past with the present...

I was talking with bestie in the Sauna room after gym just now...
We were talking about the Love of our life...
We both lost the Love of our Life at around the same time and we still think that until this very day...the effect or rather the trauma of the lost of that Love of our lives kept haunting us.
I always thought that Someone is gonna be the one.Same goes with Bestie...she always thought that 'Mimi' is gonna be the one for her and that the relationship is gonna be everlasting...But it didn't turn out like how we expected.
They were the one that give us the greatest hope but ended they cause the greatest hurt...
Well of course plus other factors like situational and fate....
But it seems so easy for them but it was hell for us..god knows...
Yes...but whatever it is I know that there is not a single one who could Love Someone as much as I do....really...I meant it...He will never find anyone who will love him like I do....never...
Sometimes I just wonder why my relationship keep on failing...
I try to find my flaws and improved but it still fails..
So probably The One made for me hasn't come yet....
I gave many chances and open up to new people like Azhar,Farhan etc. ..
But things just don't work out...
That very day,Mom ask me...Why my relationship don't always last?
It just invites tears the moment she says that....
I myself don't know mom...
I can only say probly it is just not the right time for me to find someone that is gonna be my life partner... time is only my answer...

And thanks Bestie for the heart-heart conversation we had at the Sauna room...
it really touches my heart...
Probly only you undersands how i feel coz we r going tru the same thing....
I'm really thankful to god i have you....
Probly you are the blessing in disguise of everything...?