Wishing Singapore a very Happy Birthday!
Think im overworked.
Now i'm down with a bad migraine,flu and a very sore throat.
I took 2 tabs of Paracet and put myself to sleep.
I wake up this morning with a not-s0-good feeling.
I could feel that my whole body is in pain.
aarrggh..I hate to fall sick.
I'm on night shift today.
Hopefully i could pull through and hav a bit of rest tomoro before i head down to Kak Lela's place to attend her solemnisation ceremony tomoro's evening.
I'm going to her place again on Sunday for her bersanding ceremony but i hope i could drag myself there and join my other colleagues.
Why must i work on Saturday??
Can i pls have an advance day off ...???
Oh ya i forgot i 'm the one who requested to work coz i want to earn more $$ since its a public holiday.
Haiz..making money ain't easy ok.
I really hope i could go Dubai and work there after i'm done with another 2 years of bond with KKH.
Nurse's life there is so much better compare to here.
But Mom is not in favor with the idea.
She would agree only if i'm going there with someone she knows i'm happy with.
Bestie, would you come with me..?
We could earn loads of $$!!
And probly get a handsome and rich husband there...???
hahaha!siao.!
Ok stop dreaming Yati!
Singapore is not so bad what...
peaceful and secure..
Woohoo.. Nation's Birthday is just 2 days away.
My sense of patriotism is building up now..
Haha! I am so contradicting!!
Oh well..maybe i'm sick and that is why i can't think straight.
Get well soon pls.
Wishing all Nurses in the world a Happy Nurse's Day.
Work was freaking busy..!!
No more a happy nurse. :(
Thanks to everyone who has wish me via SMS..
Thanks Bestie...thanks Emily...
And thank you to my 'kekasih gelapku' for being so sweet calling me for several times just to wish me Happy Nurse's Day. :)
Let me introduce you to my new phone.
Samsung Omnia.
I was actually captivated by the HTC touch Diamond but due to the phone comparison i did,Omnia wins it becoz it has larger and expandable external memory.I have got to tell you that i love my new companion.I really hope that i will not lost it like how i lost my Samsung flat series the other time.
A note to all my contacts,
I have already updated all of you regarding the change of my number.
If i have missed any of you,pls feel free to msg my old number and asked my younger bro for my new number ok ?
:)
Bestie,
I seriously don't understand you.
I don't get what you are trying to convey to me.
I am seriously working very hard.
I'm not fooling around with my colleagues at work.
And we don't even get to see each other everyday like what you said in the sms.
We only clash in shift like once or twice in a month.
Is it wrong when they ask me out for seafood in JB?
And they have always told me in advance coz they know i was having off days.
You didn't even tell me that you wanna meet and you get pissed off when you found out i'm in JB with them.??
I admit that i always give reason that i am tired whenever you ask me to go to gym.
(you should know how much i hated the people in the gym)
But when going out with you,I always want to even though i'm tired.
You know what's the different between you and my colleagues?
I have always turn down my colleague's offers for so many times compared to you.
But then again,I know you're my bestie and that is why i try my very best to sacrifice for you coz you're my bestie.
But in occasion that i'm really very tired,I have to admit of coz.
Maybe my colleague understood me better coz we work in the same place.
They feel what i feel.
At times when ICU get busy or wat,they truly know how hectic it is and when i turn down their offers,they truly understand.
I have to say that working in general ward is as tiring too but i have never complain to you if you get tired or wants to rest at home instead of going out with me.I really don't mind at all.
I just don't get you.Really.
Is it too much for me to ask from you to understand me a bit?
And pls don't say to me that" i'm always out with my colleagues coz i'm getting bored of you or has found a new bestie."
It hurts me ok and it is truly self-centered of you to say that.
Whatever it is,I just don't get you.
I was truly hurt and disappointed.
I turned 22 today.
I cried the moment the clock hits 12 midnite last nite...
As i was already in my room resting,I got a sms from Mum.
It was so touching..I couldn't hep but to cry...
Though it was a well wishing text,i can't help but to cry coz I know my mum somehow could understand what I have been going tru' for the past year...
Every new year for me would mean i have to always be prepared for tougher challenges in life..
But i never regret this life journey that i am going through...
Thanks a million to you people for the birthday wishes:
Raihan
Salihin
Fairuz
Mus (Kekasih Gelapku)
Mum
Sham
Yani
Kak Hamidah
Dad
Wani
Arifa
Irfan ( Ex-California Fitness P.T)
Izzul
Izzah
Geetha
Bros
Cuzzins
&
the rest whom i think might have missed it.
I wanna sleep soon.
Will be working again tomorrow morning.
Am tired.
So that was how i celebrated my birthday.
Lovely aren't they..?
I have never celebrated or treat myself for my birthday,
Therefore i decided to treat myself to get the Lovelies..
Been admiring since the 1st time i laid my eyes on them.
Got it.
I love what i got.
And some people love mine too. *wink*
haha!
And oh yes..
I'm working on my birthday itself.
I'm working again on the very next day too!!
Like sh** eh?
Whatever la.
Work got money wat...
so just work and shuddup ok!
Let's just make this clear..
My dearest Mus (Kekasih gelap) is just someone whom i am close too.
Both of us enjoys each other company...
We are like buddy with each other or perhaps our soul clicks la...
Nothing like a real kekasih...
We only meet once in a while coz both of us are real busy with work...
But when we do meet..
We have nice feelings for each other...
The best thing is both of us have sort of the same history..
We lost our Real Love in a Long distance relationship...
Therefore..we understands each other really well..
And we don't expect anything from each other though we are close..
That is why i say-we rock each other socks!
Both of us deserve to smile after all the heartache-sss ok....
:)
So people...don't assume if you don't know...
My Kekasih Gelapku,
I don't know why.
I always smile when i'm with you.
Maybe becoz we don't expect anything from each other.
We rock each other's socks la...haha!
From Left:
Izzah,Kak Hamidah,Kak Juliana,Kak Lela,Raihan,Kak Yati & Kak Sakirah
The Camera Person:
Me :)
Buffet session @ Straits Kitchen (Grand Hyatt) with my colleagues was fun.
Sort of like the Malay ladies outings la.
My seniors best and gerek la...
I love you people to bits...! :)
I'm glad i did tell you at last.
It is better to feel hurt now than later...
I'm sorry coz you feel hurt...
But we r still frens..
You should be thankful for that...
If any other girl were to be in my position,you will definitely gain an enemy...
So peace out.
:)
And oh yes..
Thanks a lot coz you understood me.
You deserve someone better...perhaps a gorgeous Pakistani girl..? :)
Mr Rafie Khan...
I guess I just have to tell you soon..
I really can't...
I can't be the girl you used to Love..
Now..
This girl is much nore wiser..
I learnt alot from the past...
I'm not holding grudges or whatsoever...
I just can't Love you back...
I thought I might fall back into you once again..
But it seems that I'm wrong...
My heart just can't accept you anymore...
Maybe coz i have already given you so many chances before...
I'm now trying my best to tell all these so that i could make you understand...
I hope i can tell you as soon as possible coz i don't want to lead you on...
And no matter how much you tried to prove to me that you've changed...
I am still not convinced...
I'm sorry...
And even my parents doesn't favor me to be with you...
My parents are not the sort who is very choosy of anyone who wants to be my special someone but I have notice that whenever it comes to you,
they are really not supportive..
I have my own principle which i believe in and my heart tells me that i can't Love you...
And with that kind of respond from my parents about you...
I really think we should just be friends.
Oh god,pls give me the courage to tell him all these.
Oh shut up...!
Have i not told you people that I'm allergic to that?
Enough is enough...
Don't get me mad..
Coz' I might bite..
I believe that there are so many things that matters more than 'that'...
So please....!
Shut up or get lost...
It has been about almost 2 years since we ended things.
Now you come back wanting like the fourth or fifth chances..?
I'm not being cruel or stone-hearted here but i just don't think we could actually be back in Love like last time.
I know life has been very hard for you after I left you...
But you asked for it..
And now you always says that you really think that you've hurt me so badly.
And so.???
I'm really sorry to hear about the lost of your father few days after i left you but maybe it was planned by Him that way so that you could actually realize how not to take someone who Loves you for granted.
It has always been me that you think about everyday since 2 years ago.
You wanna know why..?
Coz' at that point of time i'm so stupid to Love you with all my heart and with uttermost sincerity..and that is why no matter how many hot,pretty girls who are after you,you still think i'm the one for you.
I can see that you've changed a lot for the better...
You're a changed man...
It is nice to know that i have been your inspiration all this while...
I could also see that your actions speaks a lot about how strong your feelings is for me...
But i don't know why...
My heart just doesn't responds...
It is numb...
A lot of things happened in the past 2 years...
It has been a tough journey for me too...
And i think i have told you about it..
It may seems like a normal 'heartbreak' to you coz i make it sound normal and i don't want to give full details of it...
but deep within me remains a mystery to you..
Probably time is the only answer...
And also with time i can really see how true your feelings are for me..
For now...
I hope you don't expect anything from me...
If we are fated to be.it will be...
If we are not.we're not gonna be.
My bestie's Rabbit died.
It was due to Breast Cancer.
After i got a call from bestie weeping about her rabbit's death,
I quickly hailed a cab and went to Bestie's place...
Bestie was really affected by it...
We then went to East Coast park to bury her poor rabbit.
While we were digging out the sand ,
I saw bestie crying..
I wanted to cry too but i have to be strong coz bestie needs me...
And so the poor rabbit was buried by us..
May you rest in peace...
Don't be sad ok bestie..?
I know i have always been busy with work recently and has failed to be your bestie..
I'm really sorry...
Work hasn't been easy for me...
I am really draining out from it...
I come back home everyday to sleep most of the time...
I can't wait for my leave in August.
I really hope we could go out for a short trip somewhere soon...
Think we need some quality time together...
I'm really sorry...
Thank you my dearest Mus.
I am really addicted to this song.
It adds serenity to my life.
Have i told you that you make me smile?
Yes you always do.
You are my 'Kekasih Gelapku'
Yet to find my real Kekasih...
Dearest Family and Friends,
Please do not mention anything about him or his name.Someone.
I will have a relapse and Allergic Reaction on it.
Dear mom,
I don't want you to mention about him not because i hated him,
coz' i want to move on.
I want to forget him.
I am sure you don't want me to waste anymore time crying over a person who have no more feelings for me right mom..?
I know you have Love him like your own son and that you always dream of having him married to the family.
I know mom, I dream of it too.
But truth hurts mom...
He may be the person who have given me the greatest hope and the one I have Loved most but he is also unfortunately the person who have greatly crashed my hopes and killed my Love.
It is dead.
It is over.
I am slowly erasing everything i could.
The hurt from Loving him that much is the only motivation i have to move on.
My wish is to totally forget about him with some lessons that i have learnt from it.
Goodbye my Lover.
Woke up with a very swollen eyes.
Off to Sentosa Chalet with the eyeliner and shades to cover up.
I'll be back on Sunday.
