Well-Spent.

I spent my off days well...
And i am so contented about that....
I feel fresher after days of rest....

I went out with Arifa almost everyday...
It was fun even though its just the two of us...
we could laugh like there's 10 of us.....LOL

I'm gkad i did tell him that i wasn't ready for a relationship...
I tried my best to love him but it seems that my heart is still with my previous Love...
It takes time i know....
I wonder who will ever open up my heart...*sigh*

Well....
I have to work during new year!!!
It's such a pain but its ok....im used to always being at work whenever the public holidays is in e.g Christmas eve,christmas,new year etc...
Whatever la...
As long as i get my pay at the end of the day....
haha!!
Actually it is quite nice working during PH coz it is very peaceful and relaxing...
so that 's why i dont mind....

Oh yes,
What movie should i watch eh...?
I'm having movie date for the coming weekend...
Any movie for recommendation?
Well at least i could suggest it to him and not sleep during the movie coz it is so not my kind of movie...you know what i meant....

Okla..I want to go have my breakfast already..
stomach is growling...
I could swallow a cow i tell you!! LOL

And before I forget...
Happy New Year....
Welcome 2008!!
I really really really hope it will be a better year for me.....
Insya Allah...

Dear Mom...

Everything is fine...
i was fine until you have to mention his name...
I remember telling you that after that very day,
I don't want to hear anything about him or his name anymore..
Not because i hate him,
hatred is not my style...
I just don't want to keep having him lingering in my mind anymore...
It is very difficult to put thoughts of him aside..
I tried very hard everyday to slowly get on with my life and let him go,
Coz' i know he is happy and doing fine with his life there...
And that the very last SMS frm him was just shocking but made me stronger in getting over him..
I had to show a very sour face to you the moment you mentioned his very name...
I'm really sorry Mom...
I know you didn't meant to and it was just a slip of the tongue...
But Mom,
Do you know how my heart is breaking whenever I heard his name mentioned...?
You could mention his name once,but it is breaking my heart a million times...
god knows how much it hurts...
Seriously Mom,
I never love a person this very much...
no matter how much it is hurting me,I still Love him so much...
But i know and i'm very proud that i could Love till this great and that i am sure that i could Love my future husband even greater....(Insya Allah...)
And Mom,
i know you will always pray that i could meet someone whom i could love and be loved in return soon...
God's willing i will be able to meet him soon...but i need some time to recover first...
If i am fated to i will be fated to.....
I'm so sorry mom that i have to be rude to you because of just a word that you'd said...
I just hope i could be less sensitive to all these...
I love you mom.....
*tearing....*

Too many things,too little time.

First of all,
Get well soon Bi....
and don't push yourself too much if you can't handle it ok?
Nurse Yati is always ready to do her service... *smile*

And oh btw,
I still have not decide whether or not i want to be in a relationship or just remain happily single for god knows how long more....
It is indeed a very difficult decision to make...
I just don't know..
I'm happy and thankful with the life i'm leading now...
Each new day provided me with the strength for me to get over my past...
Although part of it can never be erased from my heart,
at the very least i can now have lesser amount of tears and heartbreaks in my everyday life...
Thankful to god...

Apart from that,

I'm so happy that i burnt a hole in my pocket...!!*wicked laughter*
Yes,I spend half of my bonus $$ on something that is very good and beneficial for myself...
And i hope it could satisfy me....
So,what do you think i got for myself...??*cheeky smile*

And another fun experience happened...
It was indeed a hott hott night!!
I can't believe i got him hooked ...
But hey baby,
you really have a killer-dimpled smile to die for....
And to my Bestie cum cho-ca-la-tes (Arifa),
I'm enjoying life although its only the two of us...
Coz we could bring the house down....hahaha!
You rock my sock buddy..!

And to my Elder Bro,
I'm so proud of you....
I didn't know you could earn that kind of salary...!
Now,I know you're working hard in silence...
But,
pls get urself a recognised cert so that you could secure a better future...
Freelance Musical Instructor without a recognised cert is quite difficult...
Just remember,
I'm always here to support whatever you're striving for....
Way to go Bro...

And....
I can't wait to start using the newly-bought present for myself which cost a big bomb...
Maybe i could start using it tomorrow after a hard-days work...*wink*

First Asian Idol.

Congratulation Hady Mirza for making us proud...

Although I've only been loving Taufik Batisah all this while,
But i truly have to be proud of you too coz you're an idol too...
you've got talent too...
But it is just that you have got to learn to be more captivating to the audience...
Learn in from Taufik Batisah...
He's really good in that...
he always make me hyperventilate whenever he appear in front of the TV or my eyes...

But really,
i have to say ...
it is really an unexpected result huh..?
I know you didnt expect it too..
you were so shocked on stage...
But Hey Hady,
you've won...!
Cheers to Singapore....!!
Way to go Hady Mirza!

p.s: Hady,thanks for singing Taufik's song.. :)

Trauma & Fear.

I kept thinking about it...
I dont know whether i should or whether i shouldnt....
I'm afraid that it might break my heart again....
It is just so traumatising....
I know i shouldnt assume that every guy is the same,
but i have the same tots in the past too...
But still, i cast the tots away coz i wanna give that someone and myself a chance...
but it still tore me apart till now...
I always hope that Love could be everlasting and the strength of Love could be built with time...
But I'm really afraid to hope too much now....

I don't know whether it is still too early to start life with someone I love...
Or I should just be grateful with being in a singlehood..??
Or maybe he is really the one for me??
Arrrrhhh....does it only happen to fairytale..??
I really dont know...

I think my emotions is still raw...
still thinking whether i should be given more time...
but i don't want to make him wait...
it is not so nice to do that....
arrrggghh...I don't know...
I want to erase all those fears that has been haunting me...

Oh god...
Please show me the right way....

Farewell Wishes.

To Dearest Sal,

I just wanna wish you all the very best in serving the nation.
2 years may seems long..
but patience & determination will help you go tru' it...
and you will surely make it till the end...
Always remember to tk gd care of yourself...
You will love the valuable experience in National Service...

Meanwhile,I shall think thru about what we've discussed...
and I will always pray for your well-being while you're away...
3 years of knowing each other have given me lots of sweet memories...
Gonna miss you for sure...
I wanna see the botak side of you soon..!! hahaha!

December.

It has been long since i last update my blog.
I don't have the drive to update my blog actually...
I do have interesting episodes whic could be a nice read-ups to the readers but i just can't bring myself to update...
I'm basically just plain lazy...

Well...its already December...
Fovorit month of mine...
lots of things happening actually...
Hari Raya Haji,Christmas and New Year...
That would also meant alot of Public Holidays...
I loike...

and did i say that i'm beginning to love my new phone..
Nokia 6120...
it may not be the popular phone but frankly it is user friendly and it looks very sweet just like me...*sweetest smile*
I'm still building my contacts after a major loss of my U600 Samsung hp...

and yes...
i have to say this...
I'm loving myself,my life and loved ones....
after reading a pin-up on the notice board@ my workplace,
i suddenly realize....
everything happens for a reason and the past made us stronger and wiser...
see how those neglected pin-ups can do wonders to me..?
I'm now a more positive thinker...
Thank god for everything....

Good things above the bad.

Whenever i think of the money i 'm going to spend on buying a new phone for myself, I feel so so irritated...
I thought the money can be use for other purposes...
It is really a pain in my pocket la...
But there is a blessing in disguise I realized...
Due to my not-so-good memory...
I forgot all the numbers in my phone....
Which means i will also forget Someone's number...
and which also means i will not sms or call him anymore..
well at least i won't have the urge to call or sms him since i don't even know his number...
Isn't it great..?
Well at least i have another way to help me forget him right...
I meant not really forgetting him la..that is impossible la...
Well at least put his topic at rest...
It's been the longest record-breaking post break-up depression i ever had..
And thanks to it la that i have to gain so much weight...!
I have to put a stop to it soon before i burst like an over-inflated ballooon...
So much for a true Love....
*shakes head*
Niways...let bygones be bygones...
If it's not meant to be then it is not going to be...
I just want to enjoy my singlehood and maybe in the midst of it i could find my soulmate...???
Awww......

Lost phone.

I thought after the revival of my U600 samsung phone,I could never have any problems with phone aymore...

But i just lost it on Friday Night.......
We are not destined to stay for long i guess...
it is just not meant to be...

I have to like fork out $$ to get a new phone soon...
*sigh*

To all my contacts..
pls sms me your number telling me your name ok??
I need to save it up back once again...

Its gonna be fine.

First of all...

I'm praying that nenek will be ok...
Hopefully she can be discharged soon...

And finally...
I'm having a bit of fun nowadays...
Thanks to Arifa for being there for me always...
I had fun that night...
I was high with some fun ....
BUT,
I know my limits...
However, i'm surely looking forward to such fun in the later future...*grins*

Raya Outings with Colleagues.

I had a long day On 2nd November.
My day started as early as as 10 am and ended as late as 12 midnite...
Raya outing with my colleagues was fun but hectic...
But luckily we got 2 SUVs to brings us around...thanks to Raihan abd Izzul for driving us around...U guys save half of my energy..*grins*
And yes...We were filling in our stomach with food continuously!!
Imagine we have to eat at every house and we visited approx 10 houses in total..!
How crazy is that??? haha!
But it was a fun experience..
though it was super tiring and we have to work on the following day...
More of it next Hari Raya..??
*smile*

Working Hard.

I know i have been missing in action from blogging for past few days or so...
I'm just too tired to even blog about stuffs...
CICU is very hectic and busy nowadays...
By the time i got home,I only crave for my comfortable sleeping nest...
Sometimes i wonder...."Is my life gonna be like this for long...?"
I need to add more colors to it...
Sometimes i feel tat i just wanna shut myself off from the world...
And seriously, i miss having someone to talk to before i fall asleep every night...
i really miss that..i admit i do feel very lonely but at the same time i could feel the serenity being alone...
And i'm really thankful to everyone that has kept me going...
people like my family,colleagues,cousins and special people who never fail to make me smile...
I'm really blessed to have these people around...

I think i really need some sleep now...

Numb.

Look at what you've done to me...
I'm really feeling numb...
I'm living life as per normal but with all the numbness in my heart...
Once in while like yesterday night,
i was crying out so bad...so bad...that i feel numb...
But i am always determine...
Everyday without fail,i pray to god that i could recover fully and find back the feeling of Love...
And if its gonna take me long....i will wait patiently.

And the dream i had yesterday was scary...
pls make it false...
I don't want...
I'm now happy with my beloved family and frens...
I'm just waiting for my soulmate who will appear at a right time and till the end of time....*smile*
wherever you are,pls tk care of yourself ok....?
haha! I sound crazy....
don't mind me ok..*grins*

Dinner & Dance 2007

Event:KKH Annual Dinner & Dance 2007
Date:20th October 2007
Venue:Swissotel The Stamford
Theme:Back to School

Thumbs up to the MC of the day...! Mr Justin... I swear i've never laugh that much in the whole of my life..! hahahaha!! And thanks to him coz now i am having sore throat...not because of the coke but becuase of his crappy jokes!! hahaha!!
And oh yes...i feel all so young coz i feel like i'm only 12 years old!! haha!! I look so decent nonsense yesterday...! Especially when Jasmine wanted to plait up my hair coz according to her i look like a mad woman if i didn't tie up my hair..haha!! thanks eh Jasmine... cannot blame me mah...i worked morning shift leh..my energy is running out and all i wanted to do was to sleep after work!! But when i reach the hotel room...i feel hyper coz everyone is so enthu!! you guys gerek la!
And oh yes...i think i'm getting more interested with my eye candy la..! Although i already eyed on him for so long...and nobody knows....he was really so hott yesterday nite!!! I mean i could fantasize him with that cute school uniform which he was wearing yesterday!! *fanning myself*..actually i already lost the interest in him coz it has been long since i saw him during lunch time...but yesterday,when i went to the toilet...i bumped into him..he was going back from the gents and i was going to the ladies...and both of us was wearing suspenders!! awww.....so the fated like that eh..?? hahah! He gave me a smirk and i just smiled a bit...hehe! shy la! haha! And before we went home..we bumped again...we were exchanging eye contact with each other...haha! Shhhhh.......this shall be a secret between me and him only hor!!
Niways..the food wasn't fantastic ok..so disappointing...but its okay..the MC saved the night..! hahah!! You're really great la...*grins*
And i'm still very tired...tomorrow have to work still and still have not completed my Hari Raya visiting...!
I'm draining out.....phew!

Resuming work.

I dragged myself to work.
But as I reached my workplace..
I just smiled to myself and say...
My patients sure do need me...

So far work was ok just now...
Have to really work hard after 8 days of leave...
And i really miss taking care of the kids..!!
They just brightens out my day...*grins*

Not too late.

I think i'm not too late to wish all Muslims

Selamat Hari Raya Maaf zahir & Batin

I'm sorry I couldnt find the time to wish earlier due to the never ending house chores that needs to be done before Hari Raya...

And I hope all of you are enjoying yourself with your loved ones.

Cleaning up.

-----------Major clean -ups in progress------------

Leave From Work.

(Photo taken @ Fish&Co @Suntec )
This is how nurses looks like after a hard day at work!

And i finally met up with Arifa!!
My lesbo partner...haha!
It hurts hearing your story Ifa...
But you gotta be strong like me ok??
I know it aint easy,infact it is very diffcult..
But everything happens for a reason...and
there is always a blessing in disguise..
you lost him but you always have me with you ok...?
*hugs*

Hey Hey!
I'm back after so long of working my ass out...!
haha!
And now i proudly announce- I'm having a 1 week leave from work!
haha!
It feels so good to stay in the comfort of my home...Aaaarrgggghh...heaven! *grins*

Finally i went to Geylang last Sat.
It was as what i have expected.
Packed with humans!
I really don like the feeling i tell you..
I'm forced to be there coz i have to get my baju kurung...
If not,I wouldn't be there...
Well at least i got my baju...
My family will be in black and maroon in color for Hari Raya...!

And for this whole week,
I'm going to be a full time housewife!!
Yahooo!
Gonna spring clean my house!
Gotta go do my service as a housewife!!
I'll be back..!
Soonest...

Iftar Session.

Holiday Inn Parkview Hotel was our choice.
My muslim colleagues and me had our iftar session together.
It was my first time seeing some of my colleagues with their beloved family..
Cik Sakirah,Kak Hamidah,Radiah,Nur Raihan,Eza,Izzul,Ahmad and me was there to break our fast together.
We had our stomach filled with almost all the food prepared on the buffet table.
I was super bloated i tell you.
But worth it.
It was a great day guys.


And tomorrow will be independence day for me.
No more buddy system.
I have to work alone now.
scary.
But i have to do it.
Praying that everything will be ok.
Insya Allah

Hungry me.

Can you hear my tummy growling....???

2 more hours till i swallow a horse!