Well-Spent.

I spent my off days well...
And i am so contented about that....
I feel fresher after days of rest....

I went out with Arifa almost everyday...
It was fun even though its just the two of us...
we could laugh like there's 10 of us.....LOL

I'm gkad i did tell him that i wasn't ready for a relationship...
I tried my best to love him but it seems that my heart is still with my previous Love...
It takes time i know....
I wonder who will ever open up my heart...*sigh*

Well....
I have to work during new year!!!
It's such a pain but its ok....im used to always being at work whenever the public holidays is in e.g Christmas eve,christmas,new year etc...
Whatever la...
As long as i get my pay at the end of the day....
haha!!
Actually it is quite nice working during PH coz it is very peaceful and relaxing...
so that 's why i dont mind....

Oh yes,
What movie should i watch eh...?
I'm having movie date for the coming weekend...
Any movie for recommendation?
Well at least i could suggest it to him and not sleep during the movie coz it is so not my kind of movie...you know what i meant....

Okla..I want to go have my breakfast already..
stomach is growling...
I could swallow a cow i tell you!! LOL

And before I forget...
Happy New Year....
Welcome 2008!!
I really really really hope it will be a better year for me.....
Insya Allah...

Dear Mom...

Everything is fine...
i was fine until you have to mention his name...
I remember telling you that after that very day,
I don't want to hear anything about him or his name anymore..
Not because i hate him,
hatred is not my style...
I just don't want to keep having him lingering in my mind anymore...
It is very difficult to put thoughts of him aside..
I tried very hard everyday to slowly get on with my life and let him go,
Coz' i know he is happy and doing fine with his life there...
And that the very last SMS frm him was just shocking but made me stronger in getting over him..
I had to show a very sour face to you the moment you mentioned his very name...
I'm really sorry Mom...
I know you didn't meant to and it was just a slip of the tongue...
But Mom,
Do you know how my heart is breaking whenever I heard his name mentioned...?
You could mention his name once,but it is breaking my heart a million times...
god knows how much it hurts...
Seriously Mom,
I never love a person this very much...
no matter how much it is hurting me,I still Love him so much...
But i know and i'm very proud that i could Love till this great and that i am sure that i could Love my future husband even greater....(Insya Allah...)
And Mom,
i know you will always pray that i could meet someone whom i could love and be loved in return soon...
God's willing i will be able to meet him soon...but i need some time to recover first...
If i am fated to i will be fated to.....
I'm so sorry mom that i have to be rude to you because of just a word that you'd said...
I just hope i could be less sensitive to all these...
I love you mom.....
*tearing....*

Too many things,too little time.

First of all,
Get well soon Bi....
and don't push yourself too much if you can't handle it ok?
Nurse Yati is always ready to do her service... *smile*

And oh btw,
I still have not decide whether or not i want to be in a relationship or just remain happily single for god knows how long more....
It is indeed a very difficult decision to make...
I just don't know..
I'm happy and thankful with the life i'm leading now...
Each new day provided me with the strength for me to get over my past...
Although part of it can never be erased from my heart,
at the very least i can now have lesser amount of tears and heartbreaks in my everyday life...
Thankful to god...

Apart from that,

I'm so happy that i burnt a hole in my pocket...!!*wicked laughter*
Yes,I spend half of my bonus $$ on something that is very good and beneficial for myself...
And i hope it could satisfy me....
So,what do you think i got for myself...??*cheeky smile*

And another fun experience happened...
It was indeed a hott hott night!!
I can't believe i got him hooked ...
But hey baby,
you really have a killer-dimpled smile to die for....
And to my Bestie cum cho-ca-la-tes (Arifa),
I'm enjoying life although its only the two of us...
Coz we could bring the house down....hahaha!
You rock my sock buddy..!

And to my Elder Bro,
I'm so proud of you....
I didn't know you could earn that kind of salary...!
Now,I know you're working hard in silence...
But,
pls get urself a recognised cert so that you could secure a better future...
Freelance Musical Instructor without a recognised cert is quite difficult...
Just remember,
I'm always here to support whatever you're striving for....
Way to go Bro...

And....
I can't wait to start using the newly-bought present for myself which cost a big bomb...
Maybe i could start using it tomorrow after a hard-days work...*wink*

First Asian Idol.

Congratulation Hady Mirza for making us proud...

Although I've only been loving Taufik Batisah all this while,
But i truly have to be proud of you too coz you're an idol too...
you've got talent too...
But it is just that you have got to learn to be more captivating to the audience...
Learn in from Taufik Batisah...
He's really good in that...
he always make me hyperventilate whenever he appear in front of the TV or my eyes...

But really,
i have to say ...
it is really an unexpected result huh..?
I know you didnt expect it too..
you were so shocked on stage...
But Hey Hady,
you've won...!
Cheers to Singapore....!!
Way to go Hady Mirza!

p.s: Hady,thanks for singing Taufik's song.. :)

Trauma & Fear.

I kept thinking about it...
I dont know whether i should or whether i shouldnt....
I'm afraid that it might break my heart again....
It is just so traumatising....
I know i shouldnt assume that every guy is the same,
but i have the same tots in the past too...
But still, i cast the tots away coz i wanna give that someone and myself a chance...
but it still tore me apart till now...
I always hope that Love could be everlasting and the strength of Love could be built with time...
But I'm really afraid to hope too much now....

I don't know whether it is still too early to start life with someone I love...
Or I should just be grateful with being in a singlehood..??
Or maybe he is really the one for me??
Arrrrhhh....does it only happen to fairytale..??
I really dont know...

I think my emotions is still raw...
still thinking whether i should be given more time...
but i don't want to make him wait...
it is not so nice to do that....
arrrggghh...I don't know...
I want to erase all those fears that has been haunting me...

Oh god...
Please show me the right way....

Farewell Wishes.

To Dearest Sal,

I just wanna wish you all the very best in serving the nation.
2 years may seems long..
but patience & determination will help you go tru' it...
and you will surely make it till the end...
Always remember to tk gd care of yourself...
You will love the valuable experience in National Service...

Meanwhile,I shall think thru about what we've discussed...
and I will always pray for your well-being while you're away...
3 years of knowing each other have given me lots of sweet memories...
Gonna miss you for sure...
I wanna see the botak side of you soon..!! hahaha!

December.

It has been long since i last update my blog.
I don't have the drive to update my blog actually...
I do have interesting episodes whic could be a nice read-ups to the readers but i just can't bring myself to update...
I'm basically just plain lazy...

Well...its already December...
Fovorit month of mine...
lots of things happening actually...
Hari Raya Haji,Christmas and New Year...
That would also meant alot of Public Holidays...
I loike...

and did i say that i'm beginning to love my new phone..
Nokia 6120...
it may not be the popular phone but frankly it is user friendly and it looks very sweet just like me...*sweetest smile*
I'm still building my contacts after a major loss of my U600 Samsung hp...

and yes...
i have to say this...
I'm loving myself,my life and loved ones....
after reading a pin-up on the notice board@ my workplace,
i suddenly realize....
everything happens for a reason and the past made us stronger and wiser...
see how those neglected pin-ups can do wonders to me..?
I'm now a more positive thinker...
Thank god for everything....