Serenity.

Thank you my dearest Mus.
I am really addicted to this song.
It adds serenity to my life.

Have i told you that you make me smile?
Yes you always do.
You are my 'Kekasih Gelapku'
Yet to find my real Kekasih...

Note my Allergy.

Dearest Family and Friends,

Please do not mention anything about him or his name.
Someone.
I will have a relapse and Allergic Reaction on it.

Dear mom,
I don't want you to mention about him not because i hated him,
coz' i want to move on.
I want to forget him.
I am sure you don't want me to waste anymore time crying over a person who have no more feelings for me right mom..?
I know you have Love him like your own son and that you always dream of having him married to the family.
I know mom, I dream of it too.
But truth hurts mom...
He may be the person who have given me the greatest hope and the one I have Loved most but he is also unfortunately the person who have greatly crashed my hopes and killed my Love.
It is dead.
It is over.
I am slowly erasing everything i could.
The hurt from Loving him that much is the only motivation i have to move on.
My wish is to totally forget about him with some lessons that i have learnt from it.
Goodbye my Lover.

Cover it up.

Woke up with a very swollen eyes.
Off to Sentosa Chalet with the eyeliner and shades to cover up.

I'll be back on Sunday.

Done with that.

I took a sick leave today coz i was having a terrible headache...
Migraine i supposed.
Someone you would never think of accompanied me to the doc.
So sweet of you.


I went home,log on to my comp only to find Fir's name in my inbox..
I was very nervous to his reply but i have to face it though..

I read the content.
I was hurt.Truly hurt.
But i deserve it.
It was his girlfriend who replied to the mail.
It sounded very sarcastic.
I could feel like the words was piercing deep into my heart.


Yes i know i 'm such a bad person here.
Be in my position and you will know how it feels.


But i just want to end all these now.
I won't msg.email or yearn for him anymore.
And i want to retire being a stalker...
And i think that is my limit of being such a cruel ass to him and his girlfriend.

Its time for me to be back to my old self..
The happy,jovial and kind-hearted me... :)

Congratulation Galfren.

I can't believe that my secondary school classmate,Suhana is already married..

I just got back from her weddding lunch held @ Bukit Batok.

It was crowded.

I went with my sec sch bud Hayati Hussin(We are well known in sch as the twin by name...) and Fazilah.

Fazilah had to go off 1st as she have to work in the afternoon..

Yati and i stayed coz we wanna see the couple bersanding...

Aww..they look so cute together...

They look like mini pengantin coz both of them are mini in size..hehe..!

Yati and i did a lot of catching ups...

We were shocked that many of our classmates are either married or engaged...!!

Oh my god...both of us was like...????? But we don't feel pressured though...We are cool ...haha! Always young at heart....LOL

And what a small world...

I met with my primary school bestie,Hanisa at the wedding...

coincidently she is Suhana's cousin...! haha..

We hugged oh-so-tight coz its been so long since we met...we lost touch after sec sch...

She brought me to her mom and surprisingly the mum can recall me..

They mentioned i looked oh-so-different but wat makes them recognize me is my teeth..haha!

The mom was like asking me..when is my turn to be a bride..??

I told her that it is not gonna be very soon... hehe!

And when Yati and me couldn't tolerate the heat from the crowd,we decided to leave....

Wishing you n partner a marital bliss and may it be everlasting...Insya Allah..Amin.

Desperate.

It's been awhile since i last blog...
Work has been busy for me...
I meant really busy....

In the midst of the busy-ness...
I admit that i was dying from missing that someone that much!
Oh my and i did a stupid thing ....
I wanted to sms my colleagues regarding something and coincidently my collegue initial is also the same as his...
therefore i thought it would look real if i accidentally send the msg to him too just to assure myself that he is somewhere out there safe and sound....
I sound like a desperate sicko rite....??
I think i am...
so scary...
But i was happy that he replied to the msg wic is not meant for him by forwarding back the msg to me....
we didn't have any conversation but i'm at least relieved that i know he is somewhere out there...
I have never been this desperate and sick before...!
But i know i won't do this again....
I'm so sad looking at my own state...
oh my god...*tearing*

Its ok...
everything is gonna be alrite.....