Bad Night.

Last night at work sucks.
I was given 2 patients to nurse.
But problem is,both patients are intubated!
And my Bed 10 patient collapse in the middle of the morning!
I was dancing away like a mad women the whole shift from beginning til the end of my 12 hours shift!
One bed needs frequent suctioning,frequent corrective replacement,tube feeding and changing of diaper.
Another bed is freaking not stable. I had to assist in intubation with that freaking irritating cum action -bagos -tapi -tak -bagos Doctor!Luckily another doctor came by and finally suceeded with the intubation with just one try.That was not the end.This irritating doc have to spoil my night la.He took hours to set IV plug and IA line..fair enough... the patient have difficult venous access but you don't have to be irritating can?? If you want to order or ask for something,make it in a more polite way and think before you talk!!! I don't have 5 hands and 4 legs ok!And i'm not your maid!!!I don't mind if i'm nursing only one patient but hello!I'm nursing 2 patients and my another patient needs my attention too!
I though things are settling down at about 245am...as i was about to write my freaking report for my bed 9,I suddenly saw my bed 10 struggling..I went closer,saw secretions in its oral cavity,I quickly grab the suction.As i suction superficially,the patient just desat and then went into asystole...without wasting a second,I shouted for help while I grab the air viva bag and started bagging the patient,my colleague ran in and started chest compressions.It took us almost 30 mins to revive the patient back..we all almost thought that the patient has gone.After 5 doses of Adrenaline,continuous chest compressions and bagging,the patient came back.then,started inotropes and all. And at that very hour,the doc wanted to set a central line coz of difficult venous access.As expected of him,the doc failed to set the line!! aarrgghh....!I was really very thankful that my code nurse helped me alot.If not because of her,I would have broke down and leave my workplace coz I was freaking stressed up and irritated.I kept dancing like a mad women till 7 am when my colleague for the next shift came by...I was really speechless that I havent write a word for my report and that freaking irritating doc kept ordering corrective infusions and blood transfusions for my two patients..one after another!!I passed over to my colleagues taking over as properly as possible..My nursing manager saw me and was shocked to see that i' still not home yet. I just looked at them expressionlessly and said i have not done with my report.After i cleared all my stuffs and do my report.It was already 9am when i supposed to go back home at 7am...Haiz..Bad night.

My Deepavali Outing.

My close buddies and me went out today since noon till 10 pm.

We treated ourself to a movie,karaoke session,food and more food...!

I even got a chance to shop for my Origin facial product although i'm out with two guys.

They got no prob in following me and Kak Midah to shop around,coz we understands each other needs..Man are man...woman are woman lor..

We sang our heart out at Cash box studio before we call it a day....phew! tired but worth the fun!

Actually today was meant to be a Hari Raya outing among our CICU colleagues but due to some problem,they have to cancel it..I'm happy it was cancelled though. :)

Dream Marathon??

FYI,it has been quite awhile since i had a dream when i'm asleep.
I dunno why actually.
But last night was different.
I was very tired as i did not sleep after my night shift.
I went out with my family and only got home at around 9pm.
By then,I was truly exhausted.
I fell asleep from 10 pm till 1pm today.
Imagine that??
I had a dream marathon.
One dream after the other!
Gosh..and the dreams are all so random la..
I have never thought of them previously but i dreamt of them like i just met them the day before lor...

The first dream was about Someone...
Ok ok...i am really,truly,frankly saying that i have gotten over him for so long and hav been able to get him out of my head for some time already...
But i dreamt not only bout him,but his mom and his bro too!
It was really weird.
The dream was like this:
It was Hari Raya still...
Me and my family went visiting to our relative's houses.
Then,it was actually this last house that we went before we wanted to call it a day.
When we reached the place,as usual,we greeted ''assalammualaikum'' at the doorstep while i heard a very noisy background of peeps talking and laughing.
We then went in when our relative offered us in.
I was damn shocked when i saw Someone's mom.
She looked very happy and was smiling so sweetly to me.
She held her hand asking me to hug her.
I went closer,kissed her hand and hugged her.
I saw tears in her eyes.
I didn't say anything coz i was too shocked to see her there in my relative's place.
Then i heard a familiar voice...
"Mummy! where do i put this stuffs??"
I saw Someone...
We were both shocked..
We couldnt utter a word..
Then i suddenly acted like i know him for ages..
''Hey Someone! *with a super friendly-buddy tone*what are u doing here..?"
He replied to me with his super friendly-buddy tone too saying that he is just a tenant in the house..will stay there for few months before they head back to Perth next yr...
I just nodded with a smile..
and he replied with a smile..
Then i turned around and saw his bro...
Aww...he looked so ''abang-abang'' now..as good-looking as his Abang i must say..
Dayat smiled very widely to me...
I just laughed and giggle coz of his adorable-ness... :)
I turned back to Someone's Mom and still saw her serene smile...
I went closer to her and told her not to tear...
She just replied saying how much she misses me...
I just hugged her again and told her that i miss her too...
Then,Someone came and sat close beside me and do some ketchups with each other..
We talk like nothing has happened between us...*I wish i could be how i was in my dream*
I managed to tease Someone's bro too...
asking him whether he already has a galfren..
He just smiled cheekily... haha!
Then, i woke up from my sleep.................
What was that????? I wondered to myself...
I just uttered some prayers wishing that they are all doing good and then went back to sleep coz i was really tired.
My body was aching.

Not long after,
I had another long dream...
I dreamt of Didicazli.
Yes the local Malay Singer...
I have never thought of him or liked him...
He have never crossed my mind since Forever lor....
I dreamt that he made performance in my school..
And it was my primary school!! Haha!
He performed and had his eyes on me as i was the one sitting on the front rows..
He sang and focused on me..
He then went down from the stage and went closer in my direction...
He approached me and sang his heart out to me...
His voice was really nice and soothing in my dream..
I was really mesmerized by how he looks at me..
We were drowning in each other's eyes...
He then held me closer and kissed me on my forehead...
weird thing is although it was a school event,no one stopped us from making that lovey-dovey scene...
I see many students and teachers around me but they r just there to fill up the empty spaces i guess...
Then Didicazli whispered something in my ear..
I couldn't hear him and was trying my best to make him repeat but i had to wake up from that dream...
Haiz.........
It felt really real for both of the dreams....
I never thought i was in a dream..
I woke up really teary for my first dream and hearbeat was really rapid when i woke up from my second dream...
So,do you think this is indeed a 'dream' marathon..???
*laughed to myself*

Too many trips.

I need more rest..
I only have two days off after 3 consecutive working days.
I feel very fatigue.
I need vitamin supplement.

Meet up with bestie today.
Accompanied her to SIM to enrol for her Degree course.
Then headed to town to have our lunch.
We are so like old grandmothers.
Everything also tired.
Probably we are just tired of walking around Singapore.
haha!
We decided to slack around at Starbucks Wisma.
We were discussing about where to go this coming December.
I suggested Sabah to bestie.
I wanna see Mount Kinabalu!
Bestie asked me to find out more about it.
I find Sabah very attractive with its flora and fauna.
I did my research and already smsed bestie regarding the price.
I hope bestie coud get a same date as my leave slot and agrees to my suggestion.
Bestie,purrleeease...?? :)

And oh yes,
I'm going to the travel agency this weekend to book a short vacation to either Tioman or Langkawi with my family.
Gonna have a family vacation in my December annual leave slot too.
I hope i am able to squeeze my trips into my slot.
And 3 more weeks to my Bangkok getaway.
:)


And did i tell you that my bro thought i am crazy coz i'm travelling out too frequently.
FYI,travelling is my new Love.
*wink*

Those were beautiful memories.

I am like really drained out with work.

When i woke up from my sleep post night shift,

I went over to my Beloved Lappy and start to browse old photos from my thumbdrive.

Then i saw pictures of my past.

So sweet i thought.

Here you go...

When i was with Someone

When i was with Muhd Azhar.

Aww..... :)

This is so random.

I'm hungry now.

Need to fill up my tank.

A Summarized Updates.

Matters between me and Someone was finally resolved.
So peace between me and him.

Recently my recent Ex,Azhar called me up after like six months since our breakup.
I was actually shocked and curious but i kept my cool.
Hmm..then he told me that he's been thinking about me recently and thought that he just wanna check on me.
That is sweet i thought.
Then,he finally told me that he is getting married.
He was really stammering and nervous when he wanted to break the news to me.
I could hear it in his voice lor...
As for me,I find it as a pleasant news and congratulated him with my happy voice.
He expected the opposite of me.
I told him that what happened between me and him has a reason for happening and that i'm all and all happy to hear the news and was teary because i'm so touched that he remembered me as someone he used to love.
He was not convinced when i told him that i am still single and free to mingle...haha!
He thought guys would all be after me when we broke up coz he thought i have all the qualities of an almost perfect wife...
I was like ??????
Then i told him that it is just not the time yet.
I will meet with the one when it is time.
I'm happy now.
After the conversation,
I couldn't fall asleep coz i was thinking about what has happened between us.
We just clashed in personality.
That's all.
I just hope that he will settle down soon with his fiance and lead a blissful life :)

Aside from that,
I saw a very very attractive guy yesterday.
I was having dinner with my Kak Midah after work @ Swensen Bugis.
I was busy chit chatting and laughing and my eye caught a glimpse of someone staring at me from that direction.
We met in the eyes and the world just stop spinning for few seconds.
Aaarhh..we got drown in each other's eyes...
I don't know how to decribe his face but i was really charmed!
I notice that all the time i got him checking me out maybe becoz i have chilli paste from my pasta sticking all over my face...haha!
Haiz...why didn't you ask for my number...??
haha!
I still can remember how he looks like now..
with that blue shirt tucked in,black sleek pants and smart black shoes....aaarhhh.....so hot!
Enough of dreaming.
Back to reality.

And lastly...
I finally meet up with my kekasih gelap on the 1st week of raya..
We were really missing each other so much...
of coz we dont go jalan raya la..haha
we meet up and pour out our misses with each other...hahaha!
We were whining to each other about our busy work and how tired we get at the end of the day.
As was busy whining to him,he suddenly kept quiet and smile very sweetly to me and said..''you're appearing more and more beautiful as days goes by Bi..."
Aww...so sweet of him..
i'm still the same....maybe you're falling for me as days goes by eh Bi...???
But we are glad we have each other as an emotional support.
Love Love my kekasih gelap.
We'll meet soon k Lovey...

Hari Raya 2008

So this is my family potrait.
Hari Raya this year was plain Jane.
I only went out on the first day to visit my paternal and maternal grannies.
Other days,
I'm just at home as a part-time guest entertainer and kitchen helper cum cook whenever I have guests coming over my house.
And oh yes,much time and $$$ spent on Hari Raya this year.
Since i'm already working,stuffs spent for Raya like decorative items or so are much spent from my own savings.
I'm actually very glad that i could ease the burden of my parents.
Alhamdulilah...I am able to give out green packets to all the kids whom i meet during my visits.
Though it wasn't a big amount but i'm sincere ok. :)

And oh yes!
I got many peeps who complimented on my room.
Thanks for the compliment.
I just love a clean,comfy and personalized room for myself.
So this is the small,humble room of mine...




And before i forget,
I think it is not too late for me to extend my apology and wish a Wonderful Aidilfitri to everyone whom i didn't get a chance to meet.
May we meet in another time.Insya Allah.

Missing it.

I miss blogging so much !!!!!!
Like really really really loads of misses lor..
Few more days til' i get my new lappy ok??
:)
Loads of updates you know...

Downtime.

My comp is down.
I think i need a new desktop.

Niways,
Happy advance Hari Raya.
Im at work now.
Haha!

More updates when i get my new comp.
:)

Where to go?

Vacation to Bangkok is confirmed.
Will be going in mid November during my consecutive off days with my working kakis.
And that would mark my first time travelling by Air.
Its ok,there is always first time for everything.
I just hope that situation in Bangkok will be very much settled by then.
Mom is freaking worried about my safety there.
I just pray that everything will be just fine.

In Mid December,
I will be having my last slot of annual leave.
Planning to bring my family to either Langkawi,Bintan or Tioman for a short vacation.
I want to bring mom for SPA sessions.
She is really into all these SPA thingy.
I also hope that i got a few more days to spare for Bestie.
Planning to go for a short trip with her too.
But still have not decided yet.
Hopefully we can decide on where to go soon.
Tell me soon alrite bestie?

Its already more than 2 weeks of Ramadhan.
Alhamdulilah,i havent missed a day.
I wish i could complete the whole month.
Syawal is coming...
My whole family have not even prepare our Baju Raya yet.
Frankly i'm not looking forward to it.
I feel sad coz Ramadhan is leaving soon.

I Prefer.

I feel so relieved now.
I've told Him that i can't pursue a relationship with him coz i simply can't develop a Love for him.
As for Him,
Ok ok...he is actually my Kekasih gelapku (Mus)...haha!
We shall just be how we used to be...
not expecting anything from each other..
I like it that way.
We are both cool with it.
:)
And we are so really missing each other so much coz its been a more than a month since our last meet-up!!
He has been complaining to me about how much he misses me..
I miss you too Lovey!

Dilemma.

Should i give it a try?
Or should i jus remain where i am now..?
His confessions seems so convincing...
While His Love seems real although wasn't as convincing as his..
He probably need more time to settle his own stuff although he is very matured in age..
He is on the other hand so confident about the future at a fairly young age.
I have not develop Love for him yet.
But i have so called fallen for him already.
I have known him for almost 4 years already.
And i have known him for approximately 9mths.

I'm in a dilemma.

What happened?

Yes,I dont know what happened to him.
He seem to be so short-tempered now.
He gets mad really quickly.
I will still drive him mad even though i 'm polite in whatever way i could.
I understand that probably he gets irritated coz i asked him whether are we like meeting or not and then i decided to msg him the next day again saying that :

''since we r both busy,then we just forget abt meeting and i shall just keep those stuff and if ever i find that it is haunting me abt the past,i shall just discard it but for now i'm really fine.
those are just memories :) .''

That was what i msged him.
And then i got a reply from him which sounded so rude.
I was shocked.
I didnt know that my msg could cause him to be so unhappy.
To think that the words in the msg comes from him is really almost unexpected.
Coz i know him as a polite,courteous,patient and almost impossible to-get-angry person.

I just thought that if i could resolve the matter earlier it would be better right...
it wont have to be delayed..
And i never want to trouble anybody coz i know everyone is busy with work and all...
He is the one who initiated to meet to pass over the stuff personally to him.
I appreciate his concern though.
But look at the situation..
You are always busy and i'm on shiftwork...
If we ever gets to meet it would be like weeks later....
And i don't want to be always thinking abt the matter almost everyday before it could resolved.
I just thought that i should come to a conclusion and keep moving on.
Am i not doing the right actions..???

But if my good intentions doesn't meant good for him,
I really dont know.
My mom did ask abt all these when we were sahur-ing just now.
I couldn't contain myself when i told her abt what he replied to me.
I just burst into tears.
My mom reassured me that probably he said it out of anger.
My dad reprimanded me not to msg him anymore.
My dad was really serious and he really meant what he said.
I told that I have stopped msging him or emailing him for like 2 months already but he is the one who wants me to contact him back coz he wants to meet me personally to get the stuff.
My dad just warned me that from now on he don't want me to cry or said abt him anymore.
I just couldnt stop crying and i wasnt able to finish up my food.
I went to the kitchen,get 2 tabs of Panadol and then went to my room.
Looks like my flu and sore throat is not going to get any better.
I'm so done with all these.

Happy Fasting.

Wishing all Muslim a blessed month of Ramadhan.

I'm so in Love with this month..

Reason being,it makes me feel calm,loved and full of patience...

May this yr's Ramadhan bring some blessings for me and you.

De-stressing session.

Met with the ladies yesterday's evening.
All of us did not plan to meet.
But after much thought,
we decided to meet up and de-stress.
As usual,
We talk & laugh like there is no tomorrow.

And today,
I went to meet up with Kak Midah (2nd Mom)..hehe
We went to book for our Bangkok trip in November.
Asked bestie along for the trip but she couldn't make it coz she is on perm night.
Therefore only Me,Kak Midah and Izzul will be going.
Then,
went to Ikea to buy some stuff for my room..
I'm glad i did find the stuff that i need..
We walk around Ikea till its like 1030pm..woah!
Well,you know i'm a freak when it comes to Home Decor rite...heheh!

Catch-up.

And finally,

I get to meet my bestie!

We have tonnes of stuff to ketchup with each other.

You wouldn't know how much i miss her...

I feel so happy that our day was well-spent.

We eat,watch movie and sat down for desserts @ Swensens till its almost midnight.

We talk about loads of stuff.

Work,Love,marriage,sex and many many more stuff.

I'm lucky i have you as my bestie.

I Love you.

And tomorrow will be another day of housewife session at home..

Gonna continue spring clean my house.

Oh yes,do you think i should go to his doorstep and place the stuff at his doorstep or i should just bury it somewhere?

But then again i am not really sure where his house is coz i have only been there once...

I ask mom but she told me to just keep it..

And i was like for what???

Just to make me feel hurt over and over again???

Be in my position then you will know how painful it is.

I shall see how it goes tomorrow.

If i am in the mood to go out then i mite just drop by his place and place it quietly at his doorstep..

If i'm not in the mood...I might just keep it first till i am less busy with housework.

this is life as a housewife you see.... haha!

Long Break.

I'm back from KL with my colleagues.

It was fantabulous.

We eat,drink,crap,laugh,sleep,dance and get crazy together.

Awesome right?

Haha!

And i'm on my annual leave!

Aaaahhh...I wanna do what i can't do when i'm working.

Got many errands to run to.

Got many housework to attend to.

And the month of Ramadhan is coming soon.

I'm so excited.

I love the peaceful month of Ramadhan.

Annual Leave

It is really super tiring.
Been working almost everyday.

Friday would be my last agony before i could enjoy my annual leave..
Will be leaving for KL on that very night.
I want to de-stress.

I miss you.

I miss my kekasih gelap...
Didn't really communicate much and its been long since we last met...
Its almost a month already...
I miss his crappy-ness...silly-ness...sweet-ness and irritating-ness... :)
He calls everyday saying he misses me loads too but past weeks he has been busy with work and last week he have to do his Reservist at Selarang camp. *sigh*
I miss my bestie too...
its really hard nowadays...
most of the things doesnt go in our way...
But i still Love you bestie..
I miss the times we used to have..

Should I,Should I not.

I wanna put away all the stuff..
Should i burn it or bury it..?
But i wasn't sure if i'm ready.
I want to but i don't want to..
Sometimes i feel that i'm oh-so-ready to throw it away
but at times i feel that those stuff used to be very meaningful and valuable..
But then again it used to be but it doesnt matter much now..
I should do it soon...
Probably during my upcoming annual leave,I'm gonna spring clean my room and get rid of all the unwanted stuff.