Working Hard.

I know i have been missing in action from blogging for past few days or so...
I'm just too tired to even blog about stuffs...
CICU is very hectic and busy nowadays...
By the time i got home,I only crave for my comfortable sleeping nest...
Sometimes i wonder...."Is my life gonna be like this for long...?"
I need to add more colors to it...
Sometimes i feel tat i just wanna shut myself off from the world...
And seriously, i miss having someone to talk to before i fall asleep every night...
i really miss that..i admit i do feel very lonely but at the same time i could feel the serenity being alone...
And i'm really thankful to everyone that has kept me going...
people like my family,colleagues,cousins and special people who never fail to make me smile...
I'm really blessed to have these people around...

I think i really need some sleep now...

Numb.

Look at what you've done to me...
I'm really feeling numb...
I'm living life as per normal but with all the numbness in my heart...
Once in while like yesterday night,
i was crying out so bad...so bad...that i feel numb...
But i am always determine...
Everyday without fail,i pray to god that i could recover fully and find back the feeling of Love...
And if its gonna take me long....i will wait patiently.

And the dream i had yesterday was scary...
pls make it false...
I don't want...
I'm now happy with my beloved family and frens...
I'm just waiting for my soulmate who will appear at a right time and till the end of time....*smile*
wherever you are,pls tk care of yourself ok....?
haha! I sound crazy....
don't mind me ok..*grins*

Dinner & Dance 2007

Event:KKH Annual Dinner & Dance 2007
Date:20th October 2007
Venue:Swissotel The Stamford
Theme:Back to School

Thumbs up to the MC of the day...! Mr Justin... I swear i've never laugh that much in the whole of my life..! hahahaha!! And thanks to him coz now i am having sore throat...not because of the coke but becuase of his crappy jokes!! hahaha!!
And oh yes...i feel all so young coz i feel like i'm only 12 years old!! haha!! I look so decent nonsense yesterday...! Especially when Jasmine wanted to plait up my hair coz according to her i look like a mad woman if i didn't tie up my hair..haha!! thanks eh Jasmine... cannot blame me mah...i worked morning shift leh..my energy is running out and all i wanted to do was to sleep after work!! But when i reach the hotel room...i feel hyper coz everyone is so enthu!! you guys gerek la!
And oh yes...i think i'm getting more interested with my eye candy la..! Although i already eyed on him for so long...and nobody knows....he was really so hott yesterday nite!!! I mean i could fantasize him with that cute school uniform which he was wearing yesterday!! *fanning myself*..actually i already lost the interest in him coz it has been long since i saw him during lunch time...but yesterday,when i went to the toilet...i bumped into him..he was going back from the gents and i was going to the ladies...and both of us was wearing suspenders!! awww.....so the fated like that eh..?? hahah! He gave me a smirk and i just smiled a bit...hehe! shy la! haha! And before we went home..we bumped again...we were exchanging eye contact with each other...haha! Shhhhh.......this shall be a secret between me and him only hor!!
Niways..the food wasn't fantastic ok..so disappointing...but its okay..the MC saved the night..! hahah!! You're really great la...*grins*
And i'm still very tired...tomorrow have to work still and still have not completed my Hari Raya visiting...!
I'm draining out.....phew!

Resuming work.

I dragged myself to work.
But as I reached my workplace..
I just smiled to myself and say...
My patients sure do need me...

So far work was ok just now...
Have to really work hard after 8 days of leave...
And i really miss taking care of the kids..!!
They just brightens out my day...*grins*

Not too late.

I think i'm not too late to wish all Muslims

Selamat Hari Raya Maaf zahir & Batin

I'm sorry I couldnt find the time to wish earlier due to the never ending house chores that needs to be done before Hari Raya...

And I hope all of you are enjoying yourself with your loved ones.

Cleaning up.

-----------Major clean -ups in progress------------

Leave From Work.

(Photo taken @ Fish&Co @Suntec )
This is how nurses looks like after a hard day at work!

And i finally met up with Arifa!!
My lesbo partner...haha!
It hurts hearing your story Ifa...
But you gotta be strong like me ok??
I know it aint easy,infact it is very diffcult..
But everything happens for a reason...and
there is always a blessing in disguise..
you lost him but you always have me with you ok...?
*hugs*

Hey Hey!
I'm back after so long of working my ass out...!
haha!
And now i proudly announce- I'm having a 1 week leave from work!
haha!
It feels so good to stay in the comfort of my home...Aaaarrgggghh...heaven! *grins*

Finally i went to Geylang last Sat.
It was as what i have expected.
Packed with humans!
I really don like the feeling i tell you..
I'm forced to be there coz i have to get my baju kurung...
If not,I wouldn't be there...
Well at least i got my baju...
My family will be in black and maroon in color for Hari Raya...!

And for this whole week,
I'm going to be a full time housewife!!
Yahooo!
Gonna spring clean my house!
Gotta go do my service as a housewife!!
I'll be back..!
Soonest...

Iftar Session.

Holiday Inn Parkview Hotel was our choice.
My muslim colleagues and me had our iftar session together.
It was my first time seeing some of my colleagues with their beloved family..
Cik Sakirah,Kak Hamidah,Radiah,Nur Raihan,Eza,Izzul,Ahmad and me was there to break our fast together.
We had our stomach filled with almost all the food prepared on the buffet table.
I was super bloated i tell you.
But worth it.
It was a great day guys.


And tomorrow will be independence day for me.
No more buddy system.
I have to work alone now.
scary.
But i have to do it.
Praying that everything will be ok.
Insya Allah

Hungry me.

Can you hear my tummy growling....???

2 more hours till i swallow a horse!

In god's hand.

I just lost my maternal aunt 4am just now.
Everything was so sudden.
I could sense that she was not doing good when i came and visit her yesterday in ICU.
Septicemia(Infection of the blood) has affected many of her main organs.
Her BP was very low and to see her in that condition was just a painful thing.
I couldn't help but to break down.
It was surprising for many of relatives when they saw me crying as i'm not close with her.
We only meet once in a year during Hari Raya.
But my sensitive inner beings just have to make me feel so sad.
The kiss that i gave to Cik Ros on her forehead was really a very touchy moment.
Maybe to many of you,being a nurse somehow makes the nurse some sort of immune to death or lost of someone,
but that is not the case.
I'm only human and my emotions are very strong.
I may not have high IQ but my EQ is.

To my dearest :
Abang Airie,Abang Nan and Cik Merli,

Pls remain strong and patient.
We will always have Cik Ros in our prayers.

Girl's Day Out.

It is really strange of me to not stay at home nowadays.
I have been going out and coming back home late.
I just feel better when i'm out either with my friends or just alone.
My colleagues and i had our girl's day out just now.
We went shopping till its time for our break fast.
We were too tired to walk around after our tummy were filled with food and so we headed Starbuck Coffee to slack.
We chat,gossip,laugh and crap about everything.

And i feel lucky as i was given a chance to get to know Nur Raihan's bestie which is Shikin
(not in the pic).
I feel strong after hearing the story of your late boyfren.
If i were you I wouldn't have been in my right mind i guess.
We both are in some sort the same situation.
We lost someone we love so much,we even lost the love we used to get.
And we both faces long-term bad depression!
And you're living life normally now after a year past.
But we know,we will never be able to forget it till we die.
We even have the same perception that it will take a miracle for us to be back in Love.
That future partner for us must really be someone really special.
Insya Allah.
You inspired me.
Thanks a lot for sharing it with me.

I'll cry my last for you.

I can't help but to pour out my tears again...
Don't ask me why...
nothing new...
still about him...
I'm crying extra hard tonight...
Hope I'll cry my last for him...

Sinful Indulgence.

I know it is sinful but ignorance is a bliss! *guilty smile*
It feels so good in my mouth...
it even melts all over my fingers...
i lick my fingers slowly...till the very last bit....
aaarrrhhhhh.......oh baby that tasted so good...!
*wink*

Think i really look like a big,round,cute ,chubby potato right now.
But hey,i'm better now.
I can feel a bit of bliss at least...
So...can i have more doughnut puurrrrleaassseee...???
*pouts*

Mom's Birthday.

Photo taken at Vivocity in March 2007

Death of my Cellphone.

My phone has died!
Heart-wrenching!
I have only used it for like 3 months!
All due to the unzipped bag during the heavy rainfall...
I have to pay 300 over bucks to send for servicing!
I was like-What the hell...???
I might as well get a new decent phone at that kind of price.
But for now,i will just have to stick with my old Motorola phone coz i don want to burn a hole in my pocket.
I need to plan for the upcoming Hari Raya spendings.
Haiz...

And oh yes!
I'm on leave again!
a total of 3 days used!!
Arrrgghh!
Whatever la..
I'm just being practical here.
Since the grand total is like so pathetic..
I might as well stay at home and rest right?
No point going to work if there is not much which i can do or learn right..?
So i'm just gonna be a bookworm..a bigger bookworm with a bigger and thicker book??
*nerdy smile*

Unwilling Leave.

I'm on leave today...not because i wanted it but because CICU is overstaffed!
Haha!!
Wah lau eh...they have to eat up my precious Annual leave just beause the ratio of nurse to patient is overnumbered!
So the not fair!
And tomorrow i'm on leave again coz i have to attend the ward meeting and unfortunately i'm on PM shift...and so the best solution is take leave lor!! haiyah!!
My leave is getting lesser and lesser!
And the leave was not put into good use like travelling out of country or go for an interesting outings lor!! Moreover now is fasting month and i would usually be spending time at home lor...heart pain seh..!
Whatever la...
I just want to know i'll get my leave during Hari Raya and late December.
That's it!

And oh yes...
the current novel i'm reading is getting interesting la..! I loike! *wink wink*

Tagged.

1. (the person who tagged you is)- Nurasilah
2. (your relationship him/her is)- She is my bestie's sis & used to be sec schmates n polymates.
3. (5 impressions you have of him/her)-Petite,Sweet,Fair,laughing freak & a loyal friend.
4. (the most memorable thing he/she has done for you)-hmm...hehe provide some info on Metty or Ranjeeta or some people whom i'm interested to know about. haha!
5. (the most memorable words he/she has said to you)- "you still have me..."
6. (if he/she becomes your lover, you will)- huh..?? Not until i've turn into a Bi la...haha!
7. (if he/she becomes your lover, things he/she has to improved on will be)-Just be faithful with me Honey..haha!
8. (if he/she becomes your enemy,you will)- I can't see the possibilities we will...well if it happens...i'll promise i'll be a good enemy to you. haha!
9. (if he/she becomes your enemy, the reason will be)-Hmm..how about if u kill my bestie which is her own sister without a valid reason?? hahaha! scary seh...!
10. (the most desirable thing you want to do for him/her now is)- Make her happy and pray for her soulmate to come soon so she won't be lonely like me?? haha!
11. (your overall impression of him/her is)- She is a girl who has a lot to offer.A fun someone to be with..Loveable character and of course,my sweet little lady.
12. (how you think people around you will feel about you)- Emo..Weird..need a psychiatrist?? I guess so.haha!
13. (the characteristic you love about yourself is)-my strong empathy.
14. (the characteristic you hate about yourself is)-A softie...a truly qualified softie..!
15. (the most ideal person you want to be is)-I just want to be myself.
16. (for people that care and like you, say something to them)-Thank you so much darlings..will always have you all in my prayers k ..*smile*

17. (pass this quiz to 10 people that you wish to know how they feel about you)

1.Apis
2.Belle
3.Colleagues
4.Elene
5.Fareha
6.Huda
7.Jannah
8.Jasmine
9.Salihin
10.Silah


(Who is no.6 having relationship with?)-Huda ?? I think she is happily single rite dear?
(Is no.9 a male/female)- Male
(If no.7 and 10 are together, will it be a good thing?)-If they are Lesbos then it is..if not,forget it.hehe!
(When was the last time u had chat with no.3?)-While we are having follow up sessions @ KKH.
(What kind of music does no.8 like?)-haha! Jasmine? She sings weird songs..don ask me to investigate further..!haha!
(Does no.1 has any siblings?)- Apis? Yeah..he got a younger bro,and two pretty elder sisters.
(Will you woo no.3)- huh?No.3 is combination of all my colleagues..simply said all the malay hott babes in KKH?? haha!
(How about no.7)- No Dun worry..I'm still straight.haha!
(Is no.4 single?)- Elene? Nope.This sweety has a loving boyfie.
(What's the surname of no.5?)-Alahai...Fareha....i don't remember la..so sorry
(What's the hobby of no.4?)- I guess she loves hanging out and go shopping with her boyfie?? yea.
(Do no.5 and 9 get along?)- No la.They are a total stranger to each other.
(Where is no.2 studying at?)- She working la..we are the CICU Nurses who ever studied in NYP.heh.
(Say something casual about no.1)-Da jadi Abang Polis la dia!! haha!
(Have you tried developing feelings for no.8?)- haha! Jasmine will surely smack my big round ass! haha!
(Where does no.9 live?)- Somewhere in woodlands..haha! i dunno exactly la.
(What color does no.4 like?)-hmm...baby blue i think...
(Are no.5 and 1 best friends?)- Aiyoh...they're strangers la..
(Does no.7 like no.2?)- hmm dunno leh..if they get to kno each other..they probably would.
(How did you get to know no.2)-My colleague,crapping buddy!*wink*
(Does no.1 have any pets?)-Dun think so...dunno if the girls are his pets..?? hehe.!
(Is no.7 the sexiest person in the world?)- It is a sure thing for her boyfie..right Jannah? *Wink wink*

Thanks Silah for giving me some brain exercises...! I think it is a bit awake now..*grins*

Avoiding tears.

Everytime i open up the wardrobe door,
my eyes will surely focus on the cute,pink paper bag.
I know if I were to open up and relearn about it ,I'll cry a river.
Just now,I got home at 3:30pm.
I thought i want to clear and tidy up my wardrobe since i got some time to spare.
I know I am fasting and that I will not cry and ''discounted'' the price of my fast if i were to open up the paper bag.
As I slowly took out the content in it,I became so weak.
The words on the card,the words on the beautiful novel,the dried white rose,the dried white lily,the engraved ring& the green jersey which i had to give back to his bro coz his bro needs to be in a soccer game wearing it.
Everything just flashes through my mind.
As soon as i know i couldn't take it any further,I quickly put everything back in place and think of something comical e.g the lameness and crappiness of Muttons to midnight(98.7fm) etc. to help clear my mind off.
I did teared but not cry.
And i didn't manage to do anything to my wardrobe as i purposely grab my novel and read it till i fell asleep for awhile.
I now wonder,when on earth am I able to tidy up my wardrobe??
And till when am i going to avoid all these??

Weird.

I feel so light suddenly.
I could actually smile seeing his pic with his new special someone.
They really look so loving together...
So the romantic...
I could feel the bliss they're having...
Even though i should feel hurt,
I'm glad i'm not this time...
Coz it just makes me feel so happy to see lovers being happy with each other.
Even though I'm alone and not in a relationship bliss,
I am still thankful that I'm loved by the people around me.
Oh yes...
I'm so excited to sahur later!!!
Haha!
Happy Fasting!
Oh ya i'll be breaking fast at work tomoro !
*Sob sob*
I wanna break fast with my family...
nvm la...i'm used to being independent.
When you've got to work,you've got to work it right...*wink*

So sick.

Oh man...
For once,
Let me announce that i already deleted my Friendster account!
Stop bugging me to open up new account.
I'm sick of it all...
If you want to get updates on me,
just visit my blog or you could just give me a buzz rite..?
What is so difficult?