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Dear Diary,

I have to apologize for my absence for a fairly long time i must say...I have been very occupied with my life since i met with Muhaimin.He gave me a new hope,new life,new happiness and most importantly a new part of me.
It feels as though i have known him for long but truth is its only been 6 months and we are already on the preparation for our Solemnization in January next year. :) I thank god for that,I couldn't ask for more.It feel so real in this relationship.
We argue,we fight,we cry and we laugh together..we go tru' the odds together and always be there for each other no matter what.. see how blessed i was...

Recently,we do argue quite frequently..I feel hurt too...not be because u hurt me,because of people around and the obstacles that god has given me.... I'm trying my very best to overcome every bit of it...Sometimes all this obstacles influenced my mentality...and made me query...should i or should i not?? Bu i try to find the cause ..and the cause was from myself... coz of my Low Self-Esteem...i freakin' need to lose weight so that i can gain back the confidence and that beautiful curves i once had...i have about 7 more months to go before my big day...
Please do give me the drive and motivation to work on it....oh god pls...it hurts me when someone u really respect says some negative remarks on my body...it really do hurt..but i can accept it...coz i'm gonna be ur daughter in law and i know u says that coz u want me to look at my best... i have to be less sensitive in the future too...Thanks to u that my drive to work on it became stronger..

In my heart,i know i can do it and i know that even tho' i may not score physically,but i did my best in my morale and attitude...plus Muhaimin loves me so much that he couldnt live without me..does that tells me something? Yes,i should marry him coz i can't live without him to...
there was a saying:" Don't marry a person coz u wanna be with him but marry a person coz u cant live without him..." and i truly believe in that...

Oh this is so therapeutic...thank you diary for hearing me out.